Butterfly Sex Position: Everything You Need to Know About

Want to be the captain of your own sexual pleasure? Look no further than the magnificent Butterfly Sex Position!

The Butterfly sex position, where the receiving partner lies on their back on the edge of the bed or other surface, such as a table, and the giving partner stands at the end of the bed, requires the person doing the penetrating to do most of the work, making it a great option for those looking for a more relaxed sexual experience, says BIPOC sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, MA.

Get ready for an exciting adventure in the bedroom! The Butterfly sex position is a must-try for anyone who wants to add some spark to their intimate moments. It’s perfect for both experienced lovers and those just starting out.

We’ve got all the tips and tricks to make your experience even more amazing. So, let’s heat things up and have some fun!

Butterfly sex position

What is the Butterfly sex position?

The butterfly sex position is a sexual position where one partner is lying down on a flat surface, like a bed, ottoman, or table, while the other partner stands at the end of the flat surface. The partner lying down lifts their legs onto their partner’s shoulders and the standing partner supports the hips for proper positioning.

The butterfly is an advanced position that provides a variation to classic missionary position, as the person being penetrated is able to use their legs to control the depth and angle of penetration. The butterfly sex position allows for a variety of leg positions, which can vary the sensation for the receiving partner, making it a versatile and enjoyable sexual experience for both partners.

Butterfly sex position data chart

Alternate name(s)Open wing, Uptown missionary, G-whiz
Position type(s)Anal sex, From behind, Rear entry
ComplexityMedium level
Best locationTable
PenetrationMiddle penetration
StimulationA-spot stimulation, G-spot stimulation
PettingBreasts touching, Holding her buttocks
*Feasibility: This refers to how easy it is to perform the position. This ranges from 1 (very difficult) to 10 (very easy).
**Impressiveness: This refers to how visually impressive or exciting the position is. This ranges from 1 (not impressive at all) to 10 (extremely impressive).
***Romanticness: This refers to how romantic or intimate the position is. This ranges from 1 (not romantic at all) to 10 (extremely romantic).

Advantages and disadvantages

advantages and disadvantages of Butterfly sex position

Advantages of Butterfly position

  • Increased stimulation for the receiving partner: The position allows for deeper penetration and more direct stimulation to the clitoris and G-spot.
  • Good for G-spot stimulation: With the receiving partner’s legs up, the angle of penetration is ideal for hitting the G-spot.
  • Easy to maintain: The butterfly position is relatively easy to maintain and can be held for an extended period of time, making it great for a slow, intimate experience.

Disadvantages of Butterfly position

  • Physical strain: This position can be physically straining for the giving partner, who must hold the receiving partner’s hips and maintain balance.
  • Requires a flat surface: The butterfly position requires a flat surface, such as a bed or table, which may not be available in all environments.
  • Limited mobility: The receiving partner is relatively immobile in this position, which can limit the variety of sexual positions that can be tried.

How to do Butterfly sex position?

How to do Butterfly sex position

  1. Find a Stable Surface: Find a low and stable surface, like a bed or table, where the receiving partner can comfortably lie down.
  2. Get into Position: The receiving partner should lie down on their back, on the edge of the bed with their legs bent, and their feet resting on their partner’s shoulders.
  3. Support: The penetrating partner should stand at the end of the bed and hold the receiving partner’s hips for support.
  4. Adjustment: Both partners can make slight adjustments to the position, to find the most comfortable angle and depth.
  5. Penetration: The penetrating partner should then penetrate the receiving partner while they are in the butterfly position. Both partners can move and adjust accordingly to find the best angle and rhythm.

What the man does in the Butterfly position

Role in the position

In the butterfly position, the man plays the role of the penetrating partner. He stands at the end of a surface, such as a bed, and supports the hips of the woman while penetrating her. The man has the responsibility of ensuring that both partners are comfortable and that the woman is properly positioned.

Supports the woman

To support the woman, the man should grasp her hips firmly but gently. He should then lift her slightly to position her properly, with her legs resting on his shoulders. This will allow for deeper penetration and better stimulation. The man should also make sure that the woman feels comfortable and secure. He can adjust her position if needed, to ensure maximum comfort and pleasure.

Stimulates the woman

In the butterfly position, the man can stimulate the woman by controlling the pace and angle of penetration. He can vary the speed, depth, and pressure to find what feels best for her. Additionally, the man can stimulate the woman’s clitoris with his hands or by grinding against her. Communication is key during this act, so the man should listen to the woman and adjust his movements based on her responses. This will ensure that both partners reach maximum pleasure during the act.

What the woman does in the Butterfly position

Role in the position

In the butterfly position, the woman plays an active role as the receiving partner. She lies on a flat surface, such as a bed or table, with her legs bent and open, while the man stands at the end of the surface to penetrate her.

Controlling the depth and pace of penetration

The woman can control the depth and pace of penetration by adjusting the angle of her hips and using her legs to exert pressure. She can also wrap her legs around her partner to control the pace and angle of penetration. Also, communication is key here, and she should communicate with her partner to ensure she’s comfortable with the depth and pace of penetration.

Touching herself or her partner

The woman can touch herself or her partner for added stimulation during the butterfly position. She can reach her hands around to touch her partner’s erogenous zones or reach down to stimulate herself. If she feels comfortable, she can also guide her partner’s hand to touch her clitoris for added stimulation.

Likeness for the position

Do men like the Butterfly sex position?

The answer to whether guys like the Butterfly position is subjective and depends on individual preferences.

Some men may enjoy the butterfly sex position because it offers a different angle of penetration, which can lead to new sensations and increased pleasure. It also allows for a deeper level of intimacy and physical connection with their partner.

Some men may enjoy the power dynamic of the position, as they are able to control the depth and pace of penetration. The visual stimulation can also be a turn-on for some men, as the angle of the position offers a unique view of their partner’s body.

However, not all men may enjoy the butterfly position. It may be physically challenging, as the man must support the weight of their partner while also penetrating them. It may also be uncomfortable for some men if their partner’s legs are in a difficult position.

Do women like the Butterfly sex position?

Again, the answer to whether women like the Butterfly position is subjective and depends on individual preferences.

Some women may find the position to be very intimate and enjoyable, as it allows for close physical contact with their partner and can provide pleasure through penetration. Additionally, women may also find the position to be particularly enjoyable due to the increased stimulation of the clitoris and other erogenous zones.

On the other hand, some women may not enjoy the butterfly sex position as much due to discomfort or difficulty in finding the right angle for penetration. It may also be challenging for some women to maintain their balance in the position and to control the depth and pace of penetration.

Ultimately, sexual preferences are personal and can vary greatly between individuals. It is important to discuss what positions you both enjoy and are comfortable with to ensure a positive sexual experience.

How to master Butterfly position

Mastering the Butterfly sex position involves a combination of technique, comfort, and communication between partners. Here are a few tips to help you master this position:

  1. Core strength: Strong core muscles are essential to holding the butterfly position. Engage in exercises such as planks, sit-ups, and leg lifts to improve your core strength and stamina.
  2. Experiment with angles: Experimenting with different angles during the butterfly position can bring new sensations and increase stimulation. Try varying the angle of penetration or adjusting the position of your legs.
  3. Focus on breathing: Maintaining a steady breathing rhythm can help you relax and last longer in the butterfly position. Taking slow, deep breaths can also increase pleasure.
  4. Practice makes perfect: With time and practice, you’ll get better and more comfortable with the butterfly position. Try incorporating it into your sexual routine and don’t be afraid to experiment with different variations.
  5. Experiment with different speeds and rhythms: This can help you find what feels best for both partners. Try starting slow and gradually increasing the speed and intensity, or switch between fast and slow for a more exciting experience.

With these tips, you and your partner can work together to master the Butterfly position and enjoy the many benefits it has to offer.

Tips and tricks to spice up the experience

Here are 3 ways to spice up the Butterfly position:

  1. Incorporate BDSM: The face-to-face aspect of the butterfly position allows for consensual BDSM activities like choking, light face slapping, or dirty talk.
  2. Criss-cross: The receiving partner can cross their legs over each other, which creates a smaller insertion area and a different sensation.
  3. Fly Away: The receiving partner can lift their pelvis up (with help from the penetrator holding their hips) to improve alignment.

Health and safety considerations

While the Butterfly sex position offers numerous benefits and allows for more control and customization, it’s essential to consider the physical, emotional, and safety considerations that come with this position.

Physical considerations

  1. Pelvic Floor Health: The butterfly position can put pressure on the pelvic floor muscles, which can cause discomfort, pain, and even urinary incontinence. It’s crucial to have a healthy pelvic floor, and if you experience any pain or discomfort, stop immediately and seek medical advice.
  2. Physical Endurance: This position requires physical endurance as it involves holding yourself in a specific position for a period of time. If you have any physical limitations, such as a chronic injury, then communicate with your partner and find a position that is more comfortable and suitable for you.
  3. Bladder Issues: This position puts pressure on the bladder, which can cause urinary incontinence. It’s essential to empty your bladder before engaging in any sexual activity, and if you experience any discomfort or pain, stop immediately and seek medical advice.

Emotional considerations

  1. Emotional intimacy: The butterfly position requires a high level of emotional intimacy between partners. It can bring partners closer together or increase feelings of intimacy, but can also lead to feelings of discomfort or anxiety for some individuals.
  2. Vulnerability: The butterfly position can leave one or both partners feeling vulnerable. Always discuss and agree on boundaries beforehand, and to make sure both partners feel safe and respected.
  3. Body image concerns: Some individuals may feel self-conscious about their bodies in this position. Better create a safe and non-judgmental space where both partners can be comfortable and confident with their bodies.

Safety considerations

  1. Lubrication: The butterfly position involves a lot of friction, and it’s recommended to use enough lubrication to avoid any discomfort or pain.
  2. Limb entanglement: As both partners are positioned face-to-face with legs spread apart, there is a risk of limbs getting tangled or twisted. This can cause discomfort, pain or injury. To avoid this, make sure to have plenty of room to move and adjust your legs as needed.
  3. Lack of stability: The butterfly position can be precarious and there is a risk of slipping or sliding if the bed or surface is not secure. Make sure to choose a surface that is stable and non-slip to avoid accidents.

Variations of Butterfly position

The Butterfly position can be varied in several ways to create new and exciting experiences for both partners. Some common modifications of Butterfly sex position include:

  • Praying Mantis: He kneels and you bend one leg. The praying mantis sex position is like a cross between the Deep Impact position and the Leg Glider position. It’s one of many positions where you’re on your back, which are some of the best sex positions.
  • Open Wings: This variation requires you to lie on your back and spread your legs open, allowing your partner to enter you from a kneeling position. This position provides plenty of G-spot stimulation and allows for deep penetration.
  • Gliding Butterfly: This is a more relaxed version of the Butterfly position. You lie on your back while your man kneels and enters you.

It is important to communicate with your partner about what feels good and what modifications work best for both of you.

Similar sex positions to try

  1. Binding
  2. Creme Brulee
  3. Spooning
  4. Deep Impact
  5. Accordion


1. Why is this sex position called Butterfly?

The exact origin of the name “butterfly” for this sex position is unclear. However, some suggest that the name is inspired by the shape of the body in this position, where one partner is lying on their back and the other straddles them, similar to a butterfly spreading its wings. Also, the motion of the hips in this position may also resemble the flapping of butterfly wings.

2. Is Butterfly sex position safe during pregnancy?

The butterfly sex position during pregnancy can be a bit of a mixed bag when it comes to safety. While it can be comfortable and provide deep penetration, it also requires a certain level of physical ability that may not be possible for some women during pregnancy.

One of the main physical considerations during pregnancy is the increasing weight of the uterus, which can put pressure on the lower back and pelvis. The butterfly position requires the woman to lie on her back with her hips raised, which can put additional strain on these areas. Also, the angle of penetration can be a bit awkward, and there is a risk of the uterus being jostled or knocked during intercourse.

During pregnancy, it is important to be mindful of positions that may be uncomfortable or pose a risk to the growing fetus. And if you’re feeling any kind of discomfort during Butterfly, consult with a doctor to ensure that the sexual activity is safe for you and your baby.

3. Can you get pregnant in Butterfly sex position?

Yes, pregnancy is possible in the Butterfly sex position or any other sexual position. Pregnancy occurs when sperm fertilizes an egg, and this can happen regardless of the sexual position.

You can use contraception if you do not wish to become pregnant.



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